by Jennifer Rosen
My cousin Christian, who wields a mean saber, has decapitated some 200 bottles of bubbly. Done correctly, the procedure involves impressive flourishes, as well as dubious historical stories of galloping Cossacks, and jokes about performing a bris. Most important, though, is that the bottle be Champagne. Champagne has more bubbles than other sparkling wine. According to Bollinger Champagne fizzicist Tom Stevenson, around 250 million little pearls of CO2. When the top is whacked off, bubble pressure shoots both neck and cork across the room, hopefully not into someone’s soup or cleavage, although Christian says that happens. Too little pressure and you risk glass dropping into the bottle. Higher pressure also dictates thicker bottle glass, which breaks off more cleanly than thinner st...
by Jennifer Rosen
Is nothing sacred? Thanks to Switzerland’s Cybox Company, we now have the square wine barrel. I guess it was bound to happen. Traditional barrel shapes were doomed the day France adopted the metric system, and couldn’t figure out how many hogsheads to the deciliter. Barrels have been getting a bad rap lately, anyway, what with some chardonnays going better with the dining room table than with the food upon it. More and more wines proudly proclaim their un-oaked status. In some cases this is a slightly disingenuous selling point, along the lines of: CORNFLAKES: NOW - 100% SNAIL-FREE! Some wines, in fact, have always eschewed wood. Others are only aged there after fermenting in steel. Still others, like the students at my high school who took drivers- and sex-ed in the same car, ar...
by Jennifer Rosen
As a babe of three, I liked sitting on my mother’s naked stomach and playing a game I called “Does This Hurt?” She didn’t much care for it, but I had burning questions to answer, like, “What happens if you twist these?” Curiosity is still my master. I’m a founding member of Googlers Anonymous. My interviews are compared unfavorably with the Spanish Inquisition. But it serves me well in restaurants. Ask the right questions, I’ve learned, and you need never settle for wine you don’t love. My table ends up a forest of glasses; I taste dozens of wines that never appear on the check. “Sure,” you say, “but you’re a wine critic. What about the rest of us?” Actually, most of the world, including, I suspect, the newspaper I write for, has no clue who I am. The routi...
by Jennifer Rosen
“Your prescriptions are ready, Ms Rosen. Just wait while I wrap your leeches and fungus in this squirrel pelt.” Absurd? No more so than sealing an expensive, fragile liquid with a chunk of tree bark. Brilliant new technology in 1640, corks could compress to fit in a bottleneck and then expand to keep out air. They ushered in an era of elegant, age-worthy wine and made possible the bottling of another new invention: Champagne. But today, in this age of onboard GPS and solar-powered nose-hair clippers, isn’t it time for a change? Consider the problems: corks only seal when moist. Stand the bottle up and they shrink and let air in. Even lying down, they dry out eventually. That’s how the cork crumbles. They harbor all sorts of wildlife, like the hole-boring cork weevil. Worst c...
by Jennifer Rosen
King’s Ransom was the brand of scotch my great uncle Jascha loved best. He’d pour a little on his hands, rub his palms together and sniff them. “It smells just like perfume,” he’d say. This really pissed my father off, because he found the gesture pretentious and the scotch expensive to keep on hand. Besides, his experiments confirmed that any scotch, applied this way, smelled like perfume. One day he filled an empty King’s Ransom bottle with Black & White and served it to his uncle. Sure enough, after anointing himself, Uncle Jascha pronounced it aromatic as always. This “gotcha” pleased my father immensely. Wine lovers are probably the number-one target of gotchas. They are seen as pompous and elite, and there’s nothing quite like knocking them off their pedes...
by Jennifer Rosen
This May, for the very first time, Bordeaux did something extraordinary – it came right out and acknowledged a part of its history that it’s done its best to hide for centuries. Gee you hate to kick her when she’s down, but how the mighty have fallen. Bordeaux, once the Mecca of great wine is getting her ass routinely kicked by little upstart nations. No matter; a Mouton, Lafite or Margaux is still good currency anywhere in the world. Whatever else they may be, Bordeaux wines are respectable. But there’s a decidedly un-respectable facet to the Bordeaux story that domain owners would just as soon sweep under the rug. That they’re still closed-lipped on the topic, some three hundred years later, is something Americans would find hard to understand. Most of us are lucky to tra...
by Laurie Forster
Guilty by Association By Laurie Forster, The Wine Coach™ During this time of year, theres nothing more appetizing than watermelon, luscious strawberries, or a ripe peach, right? How about a glass of Rose? Chances are most people dont associate these particular fruits with Rose, even though these fruits are the principal flavors found in this great wine. Rose is traditionally a dry wine, balanced by crisp acidity, making it refreshing, as well as food-friendly. Many wine drinkers mistakenly expect a Rose to always taste sweet like White Zinfandel, which is a sweet Rose made from the California Zinfandel grape. White Zinfandel was immensely popular in the 1980s and continues to be a favorite today. The distinctive pinkish color of Rose has become synonymous with White Zinfandel, ...
by Rich Collins
Notes from a (recovering) terroir Junkie, by Rich Collins, Thirst Productions. I’ll admit, I am enthralled with the more romantic aspects of wine, the pop of a (real) cork, the taste, the swirl, the experience of wine. Terroir is just another romanticized component of the wine experience that has become an interesting topic of sorts these days. Haven’t heard of the T-word? It’s possible, though the terroir idea is explored more frequently these days in the media and ‘wine films’ that have become loveable crusades for better quality (and terroir driven) wine. The terroir concept has sparked one of the most influential changes in the modern wine industry, debating the question - what is most important - allowing the grapes to create the wine, with man serving only as a steward to ...
by Kelly Magyarics
Question: I usually drink white wines, but I think I am ready to venture into reds. Can you give me some good wine suggestions to make the transition? Answer: Congratulations on wanting to develop your wine palate! You are not alone--many wine drinkers start out by drinking wines that are easy on the palate, such as White Zinfandel. From there, they often venture into other whites (Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, etc.), before heading into the red zone. If you are ready to try some red wines, I would suggest starting with the lighter, less tannic varieties. (Tannin is the sensation of your mouth “puckering” or drying out, and it comes from the skins, seeds and stems of the grapes, as well as oak barrels or chips.) One good choice is Beaujolais. Made in France from the Gamay grape, it’...
by Kelly Magyarics
Congratulations on getting married! If you and your future spouse are wine lovers, you'll want to include good wine glasses on your gift registry. There are so many styles and brands of wine glasses on the market right now that it's staggering. Here are some tips when you are shopping: * Look for the thinnest rim you can find: Wine always seems to taste better when you drink it from a thin-rimmed glass. So, if you are a wine lover and you are registering for china and glassware for your upcoming wedding, keep this in mind--many sets of "good crystal" have really, really thick rims. And some crystal glasses are too small, to boot. * Also look for a large bowl: This will allow you to swirl the wine around and release the aromas and flavors. Large wine glasses also look really attract...
