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The Som-whisperer: Get Him Eating Out Of Your Hand

by Jennifer Rosen

As a babe of three, I liked sitting on my mother’s naked stomach and playing a game I called “Does This Hurt?” She didn’t much care for it, but I had burning questions to answer, like, “What happens if you twist these?” Curiosity is still my master. I’m a founding member of Googlers Anonymous. My interviews are compared unfavorably with the Spanish Inquisition. But it serves me well in restaurants. Ask the right questions, I’ve learned, and you need never settle for wine you don’t love. My table ends up a forest of glasses; I taste dozens of wines that never appear on the check. “Sure,” you say, “but you’re a wine critic. What about the rest of us?” Actually, most of the world, including, I suspect, the newspaper I write for, has no clue who I am. The routi...

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Playing Twister - The News On Screws

by Jennifer Rosen

“Your prescriptions are ready, Ms Rosen. Just wait while I wrap your leeches and fungus in this squirrel pelt.” Absurd? No more so than sealing an expensive, fragile liquid with a chunk of tree bark. Brilliant new technology in 1640, corks could compress to fit in a bottleneck and then expand to keep out air. They ushered in an era of elegant, age-worthy wine and made possible the bottling of another new invention: Champagne. But today, in this age of onboard GPS and solar-powered nose-hair clippers, isn’t it time for a change? Consider the problems: corks only seal when moist. Stand the bottle up and they shrink and let air in. Even lying down, they dry out eventually. That’s how the cork crumbles. They harbor all sorts of wildlife, like the hole-boring cork weevil. Worst c...

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Gotcha! Unfair, But Fun

by Jennifer Rosen

King’s Ransom was the brand of scotch my great uncle Jascha loved best. He’d pour a little on his hands, rub his palms together and sniff them. “It smells just like perfume,” he’d say. This really pissed my father off, because he found the gesture pretentious and the scotch expensive to keep on hand. Besides, his experiments confirmed that any scotch, applied this way, smelled like perfume. One day he filled an empty King’s Ransom bottle with Black & White and served it to his uncle. Sure enough, after anointing himself, Uncle Jascha pronounced it aromatic as always. This “gotcha” pleased my father immensely. Wine lovers are probably the number-one target of gotchas. They are seen as pompous and elite, and there’s nothing quite like knocking them off their pedes...

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The Color Of Blood

by Jennifer Rosen

This May, for the very first time, Bordeaux did something extraordinary – it came right out and acknowledged a part of its history that it’s done its best to hide for centuries. Gee you hate to kick her when she’s down, but how the mighty have fallen. Bordeaux, once the Mecca of great wine is getting her ass routinely kicked by little upstart nations. No matter; a Mouton, Lafite or Margaux is still good currency anywhere in the world. Whatever else they may be, Bordeaux wines are respectable. But there’s a decidedly un-respectable facet to the Bordeaux story that domain owners would just as soon sweep under the rug. That they’re still closed-lipped on the topic, some three hundred years later, is something Americans would find hard to understand. Most of us are lucky to tra...

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Guilty By Association

by Laurie Forster

Guilty by Association By Laurie Forster, The Wine Coach™ During this time of year, theres nothing more appetizing than watermelon, luscious strawberries, or a ripe peach, right? How about a glass of Rose? Chances are most people dont associate these particular fruits with Rose, even though these fruits are the principal flavors found in this great wine. Rose is traditionally a dry wine, balanced by crisp acidity, making it refreshing, as well as food-friendly. Many wine drinkers mistakenly expect a Rose to always taste sweet like White Zinfandel, which is a sweet Rose made from the California Zinfandel grape. White Zinfandel was immensely popular in the 1980s and continues to be a favorite today. The distinctive pinkish color of Rose has become synonymous with White Zinfandel, ...

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Notes From A Recovering Terroir Junkie (a Terroir Primer)

by Rich Collins

Notes from a (recovering) terroir Junkie, by Rich Collins, Thirst Productions. I’ll admit, I am enthralled with the more romantic aspects of wine, the pop of a (real) cork, the taste, the swirl, the experience of wine. Terroir is just another romanticized component of the wine experience that has become an interesting topic of sorts these days. Haven’t heard of the T-word? It’s possible, though the terroir idea is explored more frequently these days in the media and ‘wine films’ that have become loveable crusades for better quality (and terroir driven) wine. The terroir concept has sparked one of the most influential changes in the modern wine industry, debating the question - what is most important - allowing the grapes to create the wine, with man serving only as a steward to ...

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Reds On The Lighter Side

by Kelly Magyarics

Question: I usually drink white wines, but I think I am ready to venture into reds. Can you give me some good wine suggestions to make the transition? Answer: Congratulations on wanting to develop your wine palate! You are not alone--many wine drinkers start out by drinking wines that are easy on the palate, such as White Zinfandel. From there, they often venture into other whites (Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, etc.), before heading into the red zone. If you are ready to try some red wines, I would suggest starting with the lighter, less tannic varieties. (Tannin is the sensation of your mouth “puckering” or drying out, and it comes from the skins, seeds and stems of the grapes, as well as oak barrels or chips.) One good choice is Beaujolais. Made in France from the Gamay grape, it’...

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Question: We Are Registering For Wine Glasses For My Upcoming Wedding. What Should I Look For?

by Kelly Magyarics

Congratulations on getting married! If you and your future spouse are wine lovers, you'll want to include good wine glasses on your gift registry. There are so many styles and brands of wine glasses on the market right now that it's staggering. Here are some tips when you are shopping: * Look for the thinnest rim you can find: Wine always seems to taste better when you drink it from a thin-rimmed glass. So, if you are a wine lover and you are registering for china and glassware for your upcoming wedding, keep this in mind--many sets of "good crystal" have really, really thick rims. And some crystal glasses are too small, to boot. * Also look for a large bowl: This will allow you to swirl the wine around and release the aromas and flavors. Large wine glasses also look really attract...

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Endangered Species

by Gabrio Tosti

Recent developments of globalization have made possible the unthinkable. The EU has authorized the use of wood chips and water as part of the vinification process. Not long ago the US signed a treaty with the EU that allows wood-chip wines, considered fraud in Europe a week ago, to be sold in Europe. In exchange it will be easier to import European wines to the US (what a fair trade). Now every Country of the Union, starting with France, is updating their laws so that the European wine producers can be competitive in the market. I’ve been reading funny stories in specialized magazines about how these practices are necessary to bring “quality’ to the everyday consumer, about how the wood-chips are meant to give the characteristics of a barriqued wine without paying the high cost o...

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Rethinking Red Wine And Chocolate

by Kelly Magyarics

Chefs pair them on expensive tasting menus. Wine educators use them in wine tastings and classes to demonstrate food and wine pairing. Wineries serve them as part of multi-course wine dinners. But do red wine and chocolate really work together, or are they just a kitschy forced pairing? In my tasting experience, I've found that chocolate CAN pair with red wine, but with the following guidelines. Give them a try, see if you agree with them, and then try your own pairings: * Pair milk chocolate with a New World, jammy merlot. The chocolate really works with the blackberry flavors in the wine. * The higher the fat content in the chocolate, the more tannic wine it will pair with--the fat in the chocolate will soften the wine's tannins. (This also explains why we enjoy steak with tannic wine...

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