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There Once Was A Wine From Kilkenny...

by Jennifer Rosen

The right glass of wine has a strange effect: suddenly the words take control. Tired of marching along in sentences and paragraphs, they go on strike, demanding a chance to join hands, dance around and have fun. It’s a powerful union. What could I do?

Do not pronounce Sauvignon Blanc
Like it rhymes with ker-bonk, honk or wonk
Leave the C in your craw
And say Sauvignon Blaw
Or just order a glass of white plonk


Negoçiant Georges de la Bœuf
Bottles Beaujolais bought in the rœuf
French to the cœur
He’s got mamzelles galœur
And a small Pekinese that goes “wœuf.”


You’re know you’re a real connoisseur if
You’re really and truly quite sure if
That grape down in Oz
Which they label Shiraz
Is a clone of Syrah or of Durif


If you can’t get your date to undress, go
And buy her a fine Barbaresco
Get the girl sipping
And soon she’ll be stripping
And begging to do it alfresco


If your winemaker does the Watusi
In a vat full of grapes till they’re juicy
Instead of compliance
With decades of science--
He’s watching too much I Love Lucy


In Spain it’s well known that the berry
Is made into wine known as Sherry.
By way of solera
And lots of fresh air a
Young wine becomes old in a hurry


On the Left Bank the grape of Bordeaux
Is a red that you probably know:
Cabernet Sauvignon
But in St Emilion
On the Right Bank
The grape is Merlot


Spotting land, Cortez eased up the throttl
Jumped ashore and produced his best bottl
Got the natives all drinkin’
Till Aztec and Incan
And Mayan were all Quetzaquatl


© Copyright 2007. All rights reserved.


About the Author

Jennifer Rosen - Jennifer Rosen, award-winning wine writer, educator and author of Waiter, There’s a Horse in My Wine, and The Cork Jester’s Guide to Wine, writes the weekly wine column for the Rocky Mountain News and articles for magazines around the world. Jennifer speaks French and Italian, mangles German, Spanish and Arabic, and works off the job perks with belly dance, tightrope and trapeze. Read her columns and sign up for her weekly newsletter at: www.corkjester.com jester@corkjester.com

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